A super commuter relationship may seem on the surface a completely negative situation but for the millions that are in them, that is not necessarily the case. Having a partner who is away for days or weeks at a time due to work travel or maybe just has a very long commute means there can be lows in that relationship at times, but there are certainly many highs and glitter moments as well.
High: Many enter into this situation for financial reasons. Often they have a great job opportunity but it doesn’t make sense to move for a variety of reasons. Financial security is certainly a high.
Low: Being a single parent during the commuter’s absence is a common low. The challenges that come when the commuter re-enters the family can be tricky as well if strategies are not established for that transition.
Glitter: These can be numerous and may surprise you. Many women I interviewed said they like having the bed to themselves. Others enjoyed having the best of both worlds: independence and a partner. A personal glitter is that we have a place to stay in NYC and have been able to have both family trips and romantic getaways on a budget to this vibrant city.
Megan Bearce, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist in private practice. She is the author of Super Commuter Couples: Staying Together When a Job Keeps You Apart (Equanimity Press, 2013), a Midwest Book Awards finalist. Ms. Bearce is a sought-after speaker and writer on topics including workplace trends and families, gifted girls, and women’s issues. Ms. Bearce lives in Minneapolis with her super commuter husband and their two children. http://supercommutercouples.com/